You Do You

Original Title:
You Do You: How to Be Who You Are and Use What You've Got to Get What You Want
Sarah Knight
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            “You Do You” is a self-help book that focuses on using one’s strengths and weaknesses to live life authentically according to our needs and wishes. Author of this book is Sarah Knight, bestselling author of the “The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k” and “Get Your Sh*t Together”. While the first book “The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k” was about saying “No” and setting boundaries and the second book “Get Your Sh*t Together” was about setting and achieving goals, “You Do You” is about accepting our strengths and flows, and living the life according to ourselves, to our needs and wishes, not according to opinions and expectations of others. 

            “You Do You” is divided into four parts with every part focusing on how to live the life according to own values, how social rules prevents us from that and how to stand for yourself and your life. The first part of the book is focused on learning more about ourselves, identifying our strengths and weaknesses, mental redecorating, social rules and judgers around us. In the second part of the book author focuses on “DOs and DON’Ts”-the rules in our life that hold us back like to not be selfish, to do your best, to not be “difficult” and many others. The third part is focused on “WILL’s and WON’Ts: other’s people expectations in forms of “You will change your mind”, “You won’t get anywhere with that attitude”, “You will regret that” and similar expectation of others and how to deal with them and don’t let them affect you. The fourth part of the book deals with “SHOULDs and SHOULDN’Ts”- cultural obligations that are unnecessary and limiting and how to do things that you want to do not the things that you feel obliged to do. 

            This book different than the others self-help book in that author does not list results of various research that show how to live authentic life, but author writes from her own experience. I find this way of writing more empowering than listing the research, since author can serve as role-model to others and it’s easier to follow advice when you read someone’s story, and realise the similar struggles and see that living according to own needs is achievable and the goal worth pursuing. 

            I recommend this book to everybody who finds herself obliged to do some things, stressed about other people expectations, trying to fulfil criteria of others neglecting own needs. This is the great book to have on bookshelf and from time to time to ask her for advice. While whole book is very empowering, my favorite quotes from this book are:

            “I’m not obliged to speak or act in any way that robs me of living an authentic life. And neither are you”;

            “Knowing, asking for, pursuing, and preserving what makes you happy may be selfish. But it’s also smart”;

            “Don’t let doing your best get in the way of living your best life”;

            “Is it right or wrong? You don’t know unless you have the confidence to take a risk and find out. If you regret your decision, then accept the consequences, swallow the lesson, and start over. With confidence”.